It's okay to be awesome: Making 2025 the year of overconfidence

-Kathryn Courtney, President, Mix Consulting

Over-confidence can get a bad rap, especially in the world of 2025. As a tag-along trait of psychopaths and narcissists, over-confidence gets convicted by association. But is over-confidence really the problem? And what if the rest of us, who are neither narcissists nor psychopaths, stepped up with a little overconfidence in our own lovely flavors? 

There’s no perfect way to acknowledge our own talents and accomplishments. Our efforts can land awkwardly or make some people feel prickly, but erring on the side of thinking we’re awesome is healthier, more socially responsible, and way more fun than demurring beneath a cloak of humility. 

This all started from a conversation I was having with an objectively brilliant and accomplished friend who has a self-diagnosed “confidence problem” in that he sometimes has too much of it and ends up looking like a bit of an asshole. But his position on it was strong: Isn’t it better to assume you’re great, and occasionally be wrong than to assume you’re not and be wrong even once? The world doesn’t need more of that. The world needs more awesome. So as long as you’re lifting up others often and with sincerity, when life or people throw you a compliment or a win, take it and own it. And maybe do a little dance because little dances are fun. 

So that conversation reminded me of this fantastic episode of Hidden Brain, with organizational psychologist Alison Fragale, who talks about her research bearing out the benefits of confidence when building social capital. It’s a wonderful listen and the podcast page lists out all the research and provides a link to her book, Likeable Badass: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/how-to-win-people-over/ I recommend checking it out. 

So, consider getting on board with my theme for 2025: It’s ok to be awesome. 

Spoiler alert: We made t-shirts. 

Reason #1 to be awesome: Confidence + empathy = status 

Research shows that it’s how you balance your confidence with your care for others that determines how others will interpret your words and actions. People don’t find self-promotion off-putting if it is part of an equation that also promotes and supports the talents and contributions of others. In fact, it makes you appear both stronger AND more likable when you’re singing the praises of those around you—and including yourself in the party. 

Reason #2 to be awesome: Self-deprecation doesn’t work how we want it to 

In the same studies, self-deprecating talk or even humor did the opposite—it gave listeners the perception of the speaker as both weaker AND less likable. It doesn’t do what we think it will, mainly because you are the expert on you, so when you disparage yourself, people believe you. Also, it creates a cloud of judgment and negativity around you that gobbles up the sparkle in the room.  

 Reason #3 to be awesome: If you’re awesome, I’m awesome 

When you over-index on humility, you diminish the similar accomplishments and attributes of others by association. If you’re not that great, what does it say about your colleague who hasn’t yet accomplished what you have? We all exist as examples to others. We owe it to those earlier on the path to celebrate the excitement and importance of the places we’ve reached and who we are. 

Reason #4 to be awesome: Do more stuff 

When you are confident, you plow forward with less resistance. You do more overall. You try more. You blaze more trails. You shine light on more answers. Movement matters, even if it isn’t all exactly perfect. It is fun and interesting and progressive, and it paves trails for others. Confidence keeps us moving. 

There are major upsides to setting down insecurities (or faking it) and just playing life as if you are unflinchingly awesome. So, I’m offering you this challenge: What if, for one year, you joined me in just trying it out? Just be awesome. Don’t think about it. You’re welcome. 

I’m making t-shirts. If you have coffee with me and tell me about how awesome you are, I’ll bring you one. And also, I’ll agree with you. Send me a note immediately and let’s get this awesomeness started.